Monday, April 26, 2010

Dean Kemph Chimes in on Lane Bajardi's "Poop Crusade"

Here is a potential "Pooplitzer" prize winning writeup from Dean Kemph on the latest antics of chief citizen Zimmer hater Lane Bajardi, whose quasi-Elizabethan manufactured repulsion to grafix humor (despite supporting two Mayoral candidates full of more sh*t than a pig farm), propensity to blow up in a room full of witnesses, get processed by police and then file bogus counter charges over a week later for those who may not have been following the story, has been a scatological topic as of late. Lane Bajardi certainly adds a brownish taint to the local color and his recent behavior likely eradicates any remaining cred that the Napoleonic bastion of anger mismanagement might have left. Video may have indeed killed the radio star but vitriol keeps the little screaming demon presumably collecting unemployment and flinging more proverbial dung than a monkey in the Bronx Zoo. Anyway, Dean surprisingly in his own bitingly sarcastic way, gives accolades to the once employed radio man whose descent into the abyss is a lot like Hoboken's sewer system, full of sh*t, inadequate, underfunded, and clearly not up to the job or any job for that matter. Part of me actually pities the purple pillow plopping pestilent poop d'etat pedler.

Editor's Note: Readers this is so funny I almost sh*t myself. Kudos to Dean Kemph for excrementally elevating the debate and providing a well moving commentary that gets into the bowels of the Hoboken Politik. Given my new bard status from Cyber offender Grafix Avenger  check back tomorrow for more of my limericks on this situation. My bowels could explode with all the ideas in my body created by this political sh*t-storm if I don't purge them soon!:)

Limerick #1:

I try to keep my readers in the loop,
Lane Bajardi is really obsessed with poop,
He showed the public pics of excrement,
And he had few takers much to his lament,
And his few supporters have all flown the coop.

A word of political praise from Citizen Dean Kemph...

While my candid comments on the Hoboken political scene have been deservedly cast as generally critical, often questioning the judgments and motives of competing factions, I do feel compelled upon occasion to give credit where it’s due. So today I extend congratulations to Lane Bajardi (depicted left), who recently garnered the coveted Disorderly Person distinction from local law enforcement authorities; thereby gaining official recognition for the title he has informally held for the past year. The events leading to this honor were generally inspired by his obsession with his latest raison d’excrement, the poop pics which he now carries on his person like a naval officer with the nuclear codes. Unfortunately, his efforts to display the offending graphics have not met with widespread enthusiasm; rumor has it that he has even been unable to convince Beth Mason to take a gander. His inability to impact the indignation index at the Council meeting only fueled his outhouse outrage, and he barely had his hand into his briefcase/surrogate toilet before he was unceremoniously dumped from the BOE meeting. Understandably, he has fared even less favorably setting up his overhead projector on the dinner party circuit.

While I applaud the courageous imperviousness to crap that Lane displayed during the mayoral run, I also caution Mr. Bajardi that others are not always similarly inclined. Regardless of the public’s sensibilities towards the subject graphic parody, it may be time to realize that his campaign has not demonstrated much citywide…er…movement. The townsfolk seem to be suggesting that the last thing they need is Lane Bajardi intentionally attempting to trigger the collective repulsion reflex; possibly feeling that he has done that enough inadvertently. With so much left to complain about, the town needs his undivided attention focused on general criticism before he tailspins forever into the bowels of this one issue. Despite this setback, I remain confident that Lane will be able to flush it from his system and come up smelling like a rose.

- Dean Kemph ◦